3 months

Been here in Sydney for exact 3 months, since my 27th birthday.

Not homesick yet, but started to feel blue. Still wondering where do I fit in?

me on a train from Marickville back to CBD

Not among those Vietnamese scholars talking about Mathematics most of the time, scheduling who will clean the kitchen next week (fuck that, I quit!), watching X-factor without any opinion on who will pass the audition, moaning about their hometown, Communist Party and even OZ world... almost everyday.

Not among those OZ classmates who are truly nice but seem un-interested me. Wanna know what 'odd' means? Do as I did: Bring some fruits to the studio, pretending that I could not cut them and asking a girl to help me, telling them several times "this is for you guys", then concentrating pretentiously on my own work with a hope that they will eat them eagerly. Yes, they ate the fruits, saying "Thank you", asking me sometimes, playing some music. But I'm still nowhere among their chatting.

Not among those young and kool and crazy undergraduate guys and girls of UNSW. Our worlds are so much different. I wanted to go to Uni-party. I wanted to hang-out in Oktober Fest. But all failed due to lack of accompany.

It's sad but true that money matters.

Not really among my Chinese classmates. Til now they are people who I most often go with, talking to, sharing thoughts about studying, society, food, language. But I cannot get into their soundly conversation. A few Chinese words aren't enough for me to do that. I'm purely un-political with them, but are they the same? I hate it how my hometown-mates react knowing that I'm making friends with Chinese guys here. They are just as warm, nice, friendly, smart, cunning, ambitious, talkative sometimes, fucked up sometimes (just some, not all) AS VIETNAMESE. On critically thinking: do people in my hometown totally trust in their government? I'll  ask the same way with the Chinese. Who knows who lies? How many times we were told to hate A and be friend with B then later to hate B and be friend with A? Ain't it stupid to love or hate because you are told to do so?

I hate politics.

I only judge people on how they treat me, how they give and receive from me, how they work and cooperate with me.

Not with Scott or James. They are teachers, in fact great ones. They're enthusiastic. They know a lot. They inspire and encourage me to work, which makes me feel happy. The pure academic world is much better than the real world. But they are OZ: job-oriented and possibly pretentious (rumour has it). I don't know how many percentage they are task-oriented when they are nice to me :-) However, above all, to me Scott is still an excellent young model to follow and James is a city-hero.

But OZ has not been bad. I'm not here for nothing. I know what I'm having and I deserve all.
"It's just 3 months, c'mon" a Czech guy told me.